What’s the most important thing for a good running workout? Is it good shoes? What about a good attitude? Maybe it’s making sure the weather is permitting? Is it proper moisturization of the crotch? Or… maybe… it’s simply having the time to do the freakin’ workout.
Dude, I don’t know how people workout for 60-90 minutes every day. My schedule is so booked right now, I can barely manage 3 Outside the Box workouts each week. And those things are only 30 minutes a pop!
Adulthood is one long cycle of saying, “I’ll get to that once things calm down.”
Except they never do.
Maybe when I’m a best selling author.
Anyways. This running workout has been circled on my to-do list for a month now. It’s intense, but not too gaudy in distance (400 meters at a time).
What better time than the last minute?
If you’re looking for a good running workout, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve documented my hatred for running workouts here, here, and here. So the fact that this isn’t one long complaint is all you need to know.
Now, you just need to find 20 minutes to do the workout yourself.
Here I am, with the time and ability to do the workout. It’s going to come down to two things: Attitude and Effort. Once the timer starts, my effort won’t be a question. But today, I’m going to make a specific focus on my attitude. I’ll find joy in this one. Somewhere, somehow.
Run, 400 m
5 Broad Jumps, 5 ft
7 Dumbbell Split Cleans
Dumbbell Front Rack Hold, 1 min
I’m running at my office gym. They have treadmills and heavy dumbbells. I decided it was a good idea to grab the 50 lb. dumbbells for this workout. It was a terrible idea. I should hire someone to follow me around and punch me in the ear every time I think I have a good idea.
3… 2… 1… Go!
I used to think it was harder to run 400 meters on a treadmill than on a track/sidewalk. It takes longer, right? If I’m moving at a decent pace on the track, I can get 400 done in less than 2 minutes. But on the treadmill, a less-than-2:00 pace feels like a sprint.
My pace for this first round? 7.2 on the treadmill. It was like 8:20 per mile pace.
Fortunately, the broad jumps aren’t that far for me. I like to jump and this distance is super manageable.
Here’s a tip: if you’re going to do a running workout, add a movement you like to your workout in order to ensure you won’t self-sabotage. I can do these jumps all day.
Split cleans, on the other hand. Woof. My right leg is the front leg on this first round. It’s not exactly pretty. There’s a good chance I’ll dislocated my ankle before the 3rd round.
Sorry, I’m supposed to have a good attitude during this running workout. What I meant to say was that while my split cleans aren’t perfect – they’re getting the job done. 50 lbs. doesn’t feel too bad, all things considered.
Was that better?
Good, because it’s about to go downhill.
You know the form of torture where horses are tied to each of your appendages? One horse is tied to one leg, another horse to the other, and two more horses to each arm. You know that thing, right?
The reverse of that is Front Rack Holds with 50 lb dumbbells.
My body feels like it’s going to fold into itself. It’s as if I’m gaining density. One minute when under pressure feels like 7 minutes in regular time. It’s like dog years.
I’m not exactly rushing to the treadmill here. It’s hard to get motivated for a running workout when your body feels like a rusted slinky.
I want no part in running at the #7 speed on the treadmill. Let’s keep it at 6.5 for the first–
Nope. Not there, either. How about 6?
5.5 for the bulk of my second 400 meter run. Did I go to fast to start? Probably. Does it matter? Nope. I’m in the heart of my running workout and in need of an attitude adjustment.
Running Workout Tip #2: Try. All you can do is try. If you can’t run any longer, jog. Jog slower. It’s okay. Slow down, but keep going. You don’t need a trophy for validation, you need to simply overcome.
Think happy thoughts.
Jump happy jumps.
If these were 7 feet broad jumps… it would be bad. At 5 feet, I can get away with a nice little hop. Which is good, because my legs are on their last… leg.
Earlier this week, my best friend in the whole wide world, Cheryl, had a blog post featuring 5 funky dumbbell exercises. The split clean was on there. If you’re looking to do the Cha-Cha Slide in your workouts… Get funky.
And then you put those dumbbells in a front frack position and…
I didn’t stutter. Front frack.
Once they’re in this front frack position, I can feel my core convulsing from inside. It’s like my body is a hot pocket.
Sidebar: How are Hot Pockets still a thing? I get they’re delicious. But the smell of gasoline is delicious too. Just because it’s pleasant to the senses doesn’t make it less poisonous.
I was running really fast on round 1, but that ain’t happening anymore. No, sir. I’m 30 seconds in on 5.5 speed and I feel like I need to walk.
MUST. NOT. WALK.
I moved the speed down to 5. I’m not proud of it, but I left my ego at the door when I got here. It’s been outside for a few months now. Too tired to be prideful.
This one took much longer than the last two.
Broad jumps are my love language. Anytime my wife (#RibRib) wants to make me feel special, she broad jumps in our living room. Sometimes she even makes sound effects for herself.
Split Cleans aren’t that bad. Except, some idiot decided to use 50 lb. dumbbells.
Speaking of which… I’m not having a seizure, but the way my body is shaking while I hold onto two dumbbells for a minute straight.
I’m not going to lie to you, if I wasn’t already standing on the treadmill, I wouldn’t have started running.
Running Workout Tip #3: Sometimes, finishing strong just means finishing.
I put that speed up to 7 and gave what I had.
20:00, .07 miles.
Score: 3 Rounds + 100 meters.
Interested in learning more about OTB? Check out 10 Free Bodyweight Workouts.
Or hey, why not just sign up? Me and the Outsiders are waiting for ya.
Tune in next week for another Death to Dadbod.
And hey, follow me on Instagram! @Instadanial_