Death to Dadbod: My CrossFit Injury

Danial Hooper Death to Dadbod

I broke my leg* at the Iron Games. It was during a Clean and Jerk Ladder, I was in the midst of putting 245 lbs over my head when a massive pop took place inside my knee. Sadly, I failed on the rep. I sustained my first real CrossFit injury* in my life. 

*Okay, it’s not broken. However, if my wife asks, please tell her I totally tore my ACL. Or severed my kneecap. You can be as creative as you want, just as long as she doesn’t ask me to change the baby’s diaper or take out the trash. 

My road to recovery will be long and winding. Sadly, I won’t be able to help around the house or be expected to arrive at work on time. I sustained a CrossFit injury and there’s nothing I can do about it. Time is the only true medicine.

Still, I worked out this week. Ya ain’t ever too injured to sweat!!!*

*Just kidding, sometimes you are too injured to workout. Recovery is just as important in your fitness as lifting heavy loads over time. 

Let’s get started with the workout, shall we?

The Workout

10 rounds for time of:

10x 2 Air Squats + 1 Object Jump Over

10x 4 Plank Shoulder Taps + 1 Push-up

10 Alternating Walking Lunges

Logistics

Perform 2 Air Squats + 1 Object Jump = 1 rep.  Perform 4 alternating Plank Shoulder Taps + 1 Push-up = 1 rep. Object is a small trash can. Because my knee is trash*

Note

I know what you’re thinking, “Dan, how are you going to jump AND Air Squat with such a painful injury?” It’s a valid question, honestly. I wondered the same thing, but through prayer, fasting, and a pair of Brute knee sleeves I stole from my brother… all things are possible.

3… 2… 1… Go!

Round 1

Knee sleeves are pretty awesome. Before my CrossFit injury, I never wore them. I’ve been missing out. Two squats move smooth, the jump is awkward but finished.

Uh, but then these darned Plank Shoulder Taps… NOOOOO.

Why am I gassed? What happened to my energy? I’m not even finished with the first round in a ten round workout, and I needed to pause to catch myself.

4 shoulder taps are hard. Especially ten times. Is it possible my CrossFit injury is slowing me down?

CrossFit Injury

Alternating Walking Lunges are like Baked Beans. You can love them, you can hate them. Either way, they’re always at the barbecue. And if you taste them, you’re going to feel the effects of them later.

Round 2

10 Air Squat/Jump complexes are difficult. I’m out of breath, I feel heavy. Why am I this way?

10 Shoulder Taps/Push-ups are even worse. My tummy hurts. How has my horrific knee injury make my shoulder stability and core so weak? 

Lunges, bleh.

Round 3, 4, 5, and 6

Have you ever watched a movie that’s like super gory and weird? Like Hostel or Saw. You can’t stop watching, but you can’t wait for it to be over. That’s this workout. I feel like my whole body is in a torture rack, mainly because of my torn ACL, but I’m too mentally tough to quit. 

I was too legit to quit. 

CrossFit Injury

Round 7

My cats are watching me from the window. Ghost is probably wondering where I found these totes awesome knee sleeves.

I’ve also taken my shirt off. Not sure when that happened. Sorry for anyone alarmed by the man-made sweatshirt.

My legs are burning something awful, but my mind has fully tuned out the pain.

Round 8

Just kidding, no it hasn’t. I’m realizing I should have scaled this somehow. Why didn’t I use a lighter weight.

Oh, right… it’s a bodyweight workout. Crap.

Round 9

These lunges are going to cause another CrossFit injury. To my soul.

Round 10

We’re at the end. My goodness. I have stopped and gasped every other round in this workout and I can feel the light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe that’s the Lord calling me home. 

Time: 21:17

Interested in learning more about OTB? Check out 10 Free Bodyweight Workouts.

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Tune in next week for another Death to Dadbod.

And hey, follow me on Instagram! @Instadanial_

Word Wizard/Lead Brewmaster/First Contact Seeker
I’m the family lab rat, if your family is a group of mad scientists. I mask my weaknesses by being funny and telling stories. Basically, I write posts for the blog, type up some emails, help where asked, and cry when Taz makes us run. My novels are available on Amazon. Something’s got to pay my daughters’ dance fees. I have four kids, three cats, and one wife. I love all of them dearly.