CrossFit Hero Workouts

Death to Dadbod: Running DT

Danial Hooper Death to Dadbod

CrossFit Hero Workouts require a different mindset.

I don’t care if you’re doing a partnered/modified Murph or doing a half Glen – the spirit of the hero workout is to take it more seriously than others. Instead of a moment of silence, this is an opportunity to honor someone who did the right thing. With the current status of our world, we could use a little more glorification of sacrifice. That’s the beauty of these CrossFit Hero Workouts, if you ask me.

With that being said, I didn’t know DT was a Hero workout. I was at the CrossFit Games in 2015 for the Heavy DT, probably zoned out when Dave Castro stood in front of everyone with his “Zesty Aunt” Haircut and announced the reason behind the workout. I was too busy becoming a sun-dried tomato in that SoCal sunshine. Sorry.

I didn’t know this was one of the CrossFit Hero Workouts until today.

My time was never going to be good, especially since we’re in Run-Run-Run-Some-More August. This month’s focus has been running, and I’ve vowed to not miss any running workout for the entire month. I hate running. I’m built like a cinder block with legs, hardly the ideal-runner build.

Still, I’m showing up and showing out. This is a modified CrossFit Hero Workout. I’m a modified CrossFit worker-outer. We’re a match made in heavy heaven. 

To me, anytime you are doing one of the CrossFit Hero Workouts, you’ve got to come correct. I did it with Murph a few months ago, and I’ll do it again before the end of 2019. That doesn’t mean you need to be in shape or have a clear mindset. Heck, I’m working on 4 hours of sleep and cried three times yesterday while watching my daughters dance. 

CrossFit Hero Workouts deserve your effort.

Whatever you bring to the table, don’t finish with anything left. 

Joanie and I did this one together. We’re married. Have 4 kids. Our newborn is legitimately the cutest baby in the world. He was made in a lab, too. Joanie and I went through IVF to make him. Which actually means that Joanie went through IVF to make him, because all I did was give her injections and spend 3 minutes alone in a private room to fill a cup. 

Anyways, The only time I really question her love for me is during a workout with running. I think she’d rather stab me and collect the life insurance.

Let’s get to it. 

The Workout

5 rounds for time of:

Run, 200 m

12 Dumbbell Deadlifts, pick load 

9 Dumbbell Hang Power Cleans, pick load

6 Dumbbell Push Jerks, pick load

Note

I used my trusty 25 lb. dumbbells. 

Another Note

Monday’s workout was a Dumbbell Deadlift ladder using the same DBs. 

2-4-6-8… and I made it the whole way to 32. That workout destroyed my butt and hamstrings and lower back. This is important, since I’m doing a workout with deadlifts.

Yet, you can’t complain during any CrossFit Hero Workouts. Make it happen.

3… 2… 1… Go!

Round 1

This run is more of a shuttle for me. I’m doing it in front of our house. I used my iPhone to measure 25 meters. I’m running down and back 4 times. Guaranteed I lose count by the third set. 

Deadlifts open old wounds. Or rather, Deadlifts tear old torn muscles. 

Hang Power Cleans are glorified curls. The weight is light enough so I move super fast, but that means my form is “meh.” Keeping good form is really hard with lightweight.

Push Jerks, the tightness in my lower back is real. I felt it earlier, but I thought it was just light gas. But no! 

Round 2

The second run makes me wish I spent more time warming up. I was so excited to get the party started, but now my hamstrings are pulling every few meters in the run. I’m not slowing down, though. Can’t slow down anymore than my plodding foot rumble.

Fun fact: The Romanians created Deadlifts with the intention of being used like we use the Heimlich Maneuver. 

Hang Power Cleans are like little kisses from the sun. The metabolic fire can’t overshadow the burn from the run. It’s like an active recovery in the middle of a workout.

PJs are weird. Just, yuck. They give me the heebie jeebies. I don’t like light weight Peejes.

Round 3

Oh my goodness! Joanie is still out here! I forgot about her! She’s been out here the whole time too, huh? Dude, she’s really pretty. I’m running past her, staring at her like we just fell in love. I legitimately forgot she was out here with me. What are the chances I’ve run too many meters each round? 1/1.

Fun fact: The world record holder of deadlift weight is a Russian man named Vladislav Babeedonhurtme. He was drunk when he completed the movement, and doesn’t remember it.

Hang Power Cleans look like I’m just doing swinging curls. My biceps look good, though.

PJs don’t look good. It’s like all the pressure of the world has landed on my lower back. I’m not lifting the weight in my hands, I’m lifting the weight of bad dietary decisions.

Round 4

The Run is so fun. I’m in the final two rounds, I gotta move faster.

Sidebar: I don’t move faster, I cannot move faster.

Fun fact: In 1940s Boston, there was an underground massage parlor devoted to hamstring massages using whiskey mixed with vegetable oil. Their favorite customer could deadlift 750 lbs.

Hang Power Cleans and Push Jerks go along well. I’m tired, but I won’t break. This is where I can my breath and regain my focus. So far, it’s going terribly.

 

Round 5

I don’t know, guys. It seems like I’m doing it right, but now this round felt like I was going forever. Maybe I did 6 trips down and back on this one… maybe I did it every time?

Fun fact: the first historical mention of Deadlifts is in the Bible. Daniel 12 says “Your dead will rise.” However, many scholars believe a more accurate translation is “You will deadlift.”

Hang Power Cleans and PJs are fast. I’m so gassed, but I feel good. Someday, when I’m in shape. I’ll come back and kill this workout. It’s fun and difficult.

Time: 9:51

I’m going to go cheer my wife on now. 

 

Word Wizard/Lead Brewmaster/First Contact Seeker
I’m the family lab rat, if your family is a group of mad scientists. I mask my weaknesses by being funny and telling stories. Basically, I write posts for the blog, type up some emails, help where asked, and cry when Taz makes us run. My novels are available on Amazon. Something’s got to pay my daughters’ dance fees. I have four kids, three cats, and one wife. I love all of them dearly.