Death to Dadbod: Hot Sauce and Push-ups

Danial Hooper Death to Dadbod

This one is a total body workout with Push-ups.

I love hot sauce. If someone hands me a bottle of hawt sawce I’m going to put it on my food. Heat makes the flavor better. I don’t waste time with the phony warnings or recommendations on dosage… if you like it enough to recommend it, I’m going to pour it on. And because of who I am as a person, I tend to put too much on. Sometimes, this doesn’t create a problem. Every so often, though, I end up sitting at the dinner table with sweat coming from my eyes while I try to finish a burger that tastes like sweet death. It hurts three times; going in, holding it in, and hours later.

 

That’s this workout.

 

I thought I had a bottle of Frank’s Red Hot. Instead, I got goblet of Taz’s Fire Water.

 

The Workout

21-18-15-9-6 reps of:

Single Dumbbell Goblet Cluster | 25 lbs

Broad Jump

Elevated Push-ups

 

Note

1)I’ve been Outside the Box for 3 months now. Four if you include the Beta testing in February.

I love the programming, the community and I love slowly killing my dadbod. It used to be a sadbod, I’m aiming for a gladbod.

2) The notes on this workout say I should do the Broad Jumps at 75%.

One thing I learned during this workout: I can either jump 10% or 100%. There’s no in between.

3) I’m doing this workout at my work gym. Perfect place to jump around like a bounding idiot.

4) I’m not a huge fan of any workout with Push-ups. My chest is best when it’s given a rest, not test(ed).

 

3… 2… 1… Go

21s

Single Dumbbell Goblet Cluster

Cluster = Clean and Thruster. I feel every rep, and it feels good. My 25 DB is light, so it’s actually more awkward than it is heavy. I just try to be as efficient as possible with each rep. This one is going to take a long time.

 

Ahem, Broad Jumps – woof. Remember what I said about the 10% or 100%? Well I have a small space to perform each jump. I don’t have the measurement, but I’m able to get from one end to the other in 2 jumps.

 

I’m surprised by how easy the Elevated Push-ups feel. I don’t have a mirror, though. If I could see myself, there’s a solid chance I look like a swinging bridge on each rep.

 

18s

SDGC

I can already tell, this is going to be the “rest” for this workout.

 

Broad Jumps.

Second round feels a lot tighter on my undergirth. I’m still hitting 2 jumps before having to turn around, but it feels a little harder. 39 leaps is exhausting.

 

Elevated Push-ups go on without a hitch. I do 12 reps straight, then lay on my face for a few seconds, and then get 6 reps.

 

15s

SDGC

I would like this movement more if I didn’t have to do it.

 

Broad Jumps

Reps 1-10 are done, but I’m out of breath. I’m panting like a walrus in a sauna. Sweat flies off my arms with each jump. It’s like tiny water bullets. No one is in the gym, so there will be no casualties.

 

Sidebar: Back in high school, I was spotting a buddy while he was going for his max bench press. While standing over him, a bead of sweat dripped down my chinstrap facial hair and into the back of his open mouth.

He choked.

The bar slammed into his chest.

He never asked me to spot him again.

 

Elevated Push-ups.

While I’m down here, I notice how much I’m sweating. There’s a real puddle goings on.

I bet I smell like Mop Water.

 

9s

An older fellow comes into the gym. He’s super friendly. He says “hi,” despite the fact that I have headphones in AND I’m hunched over like I’m puking in the alley.

 

And then… he approaches me to give me a high five. Which, okay. Cool. Say hello. We’re being friendly. I can use the rest, anyway.

I pause my music just in time to hear him say, “How’s it going, Black Panther?”

 

Excuse me, what?

He called me, a pudgy white guy with long hair, Black Panther. I’m built like Kung Fu Panda, not the coolest superhero. I’m too shocked to respond. I need to get back to the workout. That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. And the most random.

 

SDGC
I do my 9 reps of this movement unbroken. It feels good. Every rep feels like I’m going to smash my fingers, but I’m paying attention, so I don’t do it.

 

Broad Jumps

Remember when I said I was doing 2 jumps before turning around?

My 9s have turned into 4 reps. I’m gassed. I’m pooped. I can’t leap.

Still, sweat flies into the air. Nearly hitting my buddy Shaft… or whatever his name is.  

 

Elevated Push-ups

My face is pressing really hard again the floor in between each rep.

It hurts like pain.

 

6s

SDGC. I feel the pull on my cheeks. The press engages my core.

 

Broad Jumps. 5 jumps on the first round. Before, I was barely getting off the ground on purpose (because that’s how you do Broad Jumps), but now I’m barely getting off the ground AND barely moving forward. It’s like gravity has decided to keep me close. 1 really sad Broad Jump to close.

 

Elevated Push-ups. 6 singles. I wonder what Red from Shawshank thinks of my form.

 

21 minutes

 

Tune in next week for another Death to Dadbod.

And hey, follow me on Instagram! @Instadanial_

Word Wizard/Lead Brewmaster/First Contact Seeker
I’m the family lab rat, if your family is a group of mad scientists. I mask my weaknesses by being funny and telling stories. Basically, I write posts for the blog, type up some emails, help where asked, and cry when Taz makes us run. My novels are available on Amazon. Something’s got to pay my daughters’ dance fees. I have four kids, three cats, and one wife. I love all of them dearly.