Death to Dadbod: Double Powers

Danial Hooper Death to Dadbod

Double Unders are CrossFit’s Broccoli. Consistently overlooked as a staple in their field, yet their presence is always felt and the value is unavoidable. Plus, both Double Unders and Broccoli are high in fiber. And they’re both at their best when soaked in a cheesy soup. If you’re looking for Double Under Tips, you’ve come to the right place.

I’m actually pretty decent at Double Unders. At least compared to everything else fitness related. I haven’t practiced in years, yet I’m pretty good at them. Double Unders are rhythm-based, and your boy got rhythm for dayyyyys. I’ll give out some Double Under Tips throughout. Some seasoned vets are going to disagree, and they’re probably right. Most of my advice is wrong. I’m like that uncle who constantly gives terrible advice, but his confidence makes you wonder if he’s on to something.

Sidebar: Wait, if my grammy is reading this, I should explain: Double Unders are when you cycle a jump rope twice in only one jump. It’s best to be done with a wire jump rope that can slice through your skin like a hot knife through butter. It’s great for cardio and teaching you how to scream like a demon with each failure. 

Dan’s Double Under Tips #1: Use a rope you’re afraid of.

I got mine from RPM. In my opinion, they have the bestest best ropes. A good jump rope is like a good spouse. You need one that’s reliable, attractive, and is willing to cut you if you screw around.  The days of the thicc-pasta covered jump ropes are over. They’re heavy, clunky, and don’t move with the same smoothness. You need a jump rope that’s going to inspire you to learn Double Unders through fear, weird-bruising streaks on your legs that look like a tapeworm, and bring their own soundtrack with each movement.

Whoo Whoo Whoo.

This week’s benchmark is all about the Double Unders, which is great and terrible. I feel like I’m in good enough shape to really wreck myself. Great for you, terrible for me.

 

The Workout

Every Minute On the Minute (EMOM)

7 Dumbbell Power Clean & Jerks, 25 lbs

Use the remaining time in each Minute for Max rep Double Unders

10 minutes.

 

Dan’s Double Under Tips #2: Be quick, but don’t hurry.

Workouts for time put you under pressure, but if you can remember, “Slow is steady, steady is fast.” It helps. Don’t try to be Buddy Lee out the gate. Buddy Lee wasn’t Buddy Lee, until he worked his way to become Buddy Lee… ya know?

I mean dang…

Note

The goal is 20 jump ropes per round.

 

3… 2… 1… GO!

Round 1:

7 Power Clean and Jerks are easy at 25lbs. I’m sure I’ll get tired, but my goal is to perform each rep unbroken. My form is good, on the first round.

I start the Double Unders with 45 seconds left. I pick up my rope and start twirling that bad boy. Each jump is smooth, I’m feeling good. Call me Dadboddy Lee.

30 reps.

 

Round 2:

Steady C&J. No sweat.

I feel a little tensions in my chestees as I pick up the rope, but I’m going to demand better from myself. It went well for the first 14 reps, and then the rope screamed into my shin like a freaking Ginsu knife. Fire shoots up my leg to my right buttcheek. Why? Because somehow the rope smacked into me twice. I got a two-fer. An involuntary scream escaped my lungs before I readjusted myself and try to start again. The road to bleeding shins is paved by good intentions – I made it three swings before the rope bounced off my shoe and created an X with the other lash on my butt.

17 reps, 3 lashes.

Dan’s Double Under Tips #3: Wear sweatpants or high socks. #JustInCase.

It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Cover your wounds before you get them.

 

Round 3:

Booty is hurting, but I get through my C&J and jump into the jumping ropes. Double Unders feel okay. I’m not suffering from PTSD. It’s not a nervous tick, it’s just how my face looks when I’m afraid for my life.

23 reps, 24 years of counseling.

 

Round 4:

Oh man, my lungs are burning. I’m tired, I’m panting. My arms are shot and my feet are tired. I’m jumping a lot. This is hard.

In my exhaustion, I mess up again. Not as much pain, but I yell out an expletive noise. No, I didn’t swear, it’s just a groan made by a Grizzly Bear stuck in a briar-patch.

Or just the look on this bear’s face:

Double Under Tips

13 reps, lots of anger.

 

Round 5:

If you’ve been with me since the beginning, you know I’ve come a long way in the last few months. I feel world’s better in my own skin. I’m in my 5th round of Double Unders, and I’m about to refocus myself to finish strong. My mental fitness has improved just as much as my physical. I’m strong enough to overcome!!!

Hear me roar!

Dan’s Double Under Tips #4: You’re going to mess up.

It’s going to happen. How you respond is more important than how you fail. Pick up the rope, keep going. If you need to yell, go for it. Don’t waste time looking at your jump rope like it wronged you. It’s a jump rope, not a dog who peed on your floor.

26 reps, swagger on 100.

 

Round 6:

I messed up on Rep 0, three times. It felt like Eleven was hiding in my bushes, using her bloody-nose psionic ability to make the jump rope spin slow and wrap around my arms and neck. My body has found itself entrapped in the middle of an oversized-version of what happens to my headphones.

14 reps, swagged on -8.

 

Round 7:

Those C&Js just got a lot harder. The Dumbbell hurts.

I’m not going to repeat the last round, though. The jump rope is my friend. It’s like my cat. If I don’t obey the rules, it’s going to bite me. If I do what I’m supposed to, and don’t make eye contact, then things will workout fine.

Sidebar: Living with a cat is like having a hostile-but-sassy-but-cute toddler.

Dan’s Double Under Tips #5: Your arms are not Ferris Wheels.

Keep the rotation tight with each turn. It’s in the wrist, not the Rotator cuff.

Dan’s Double Under Tips #6: Jump high when you start.

If you’re not good; jump high, work in one rep at a time. Do one Double Under, then a single, then another double. Control the rope. Try two in a row. Then three. And remember, Rocky could only do a few before he smoked himself out too.

Double Under Tips

Try not to look like Rocky when you do them…

22 reps, 7 rounds finished.

 

Round 8:

Things get dark here. I’m feeling feelings that I don’t want to be feeling. I was slow to get to the rope, struggled to get started, and couldn’t get a rhythm. I’m a fantastic dancer, but usually it’s after shots of tequila, not lashes of jump rope.

11 reps, bleh.

 

Round 9:

Ohhhh, those C&Js got realllly spicy, really fast. I didn’t expect to feel this way. The wind is blowing, which gives me the allusion of being placed inside a microwave. It’s hot on the outside and on the inside. I’m going to explode. My life has been turned into a human-hot pocket.

8 reps.

 

Round 10:

Ain’t no stopping me now! That’s a double negative! Equals a singular positive! I’m positively going to pass out! Yay! I love lamp. I’m going to finish strong! Because I’m an Outsider! Rawrrrr. I stay gold! Life is like a box of chocolates! That’ll do, pig! Yippy-Ki-Yay!

26 reps.
190 reps TOTAL!

Dan’s Double Under Tips #7: Practice. Practice. Practice.

You gotta eat your veggies, and you gotta train your weaknesses. Skills aren’t skills unless they’re done consistently.

 

Interested in learning more about OTB? Check out our FREE 3-Day-Workout Preview.

Or hey, why not just sign up? Me and the Outsiders are waiting for ya.

 

 

Tune in next week for another Death to Dadbod.

And hey, follow me on Instagram! @Instadanial_

Danial Hooper Editor
Word Wizard/Lead Brewmaster/First Contact Seeker
I’m the family lab rat, if your family is a group of mad scientists. I mask my weaknesses by being funny and telling stories. Basically, I write posts for the blog, type up some emails, help where asked, and cry when Taz makes us run. My novels are available on Amazon. Something’s got to pay my daughters’ dance fees. I have four kids, three cats, and one wife. I love all of them dearly.