The CrossFit Open is (in my mind) the pinnacle of CrossFit. Not because we get to watch Mat Faser and Tina Toomey dominate workouts. And no, it ain’t about the dude in your gym with the moose-knuckled spandex and wicked-good Fran time.
The CrossFit Open is about you. It’s about me. We’re together, testing our fitness. The focus is on pushing ourselves and growing, not in competing with athletes chiseled out of iron and essential oils. We are CrossFit. No matter our level, our history, or our goals.
CrossFit Open 20.2 is one of my favorite workouts I’ve ever done in the Open. Not because it was easiest or most fun, but it was a collection of movements that challenged me, but short enough in reps where I could keep moving. I didn’t feel bad for myself. Or hate myself.
Should we get to the workout? Sure. Why not?
CrossFit Open 20.2 Minimalist
24 Double Unders
I have two 25 lb dumbbells for my thrusters and an RPM Jump Rope for my DUs. I’ve come prepared. Except, I also have a beach ball in my stomach which makes V-Ups really, really awful.
Last week I wore a Monkey Onesie. I felt like I was trapped in a sauna suit. There was so much sweat around where I was doing burpees that my cats poured their own litter on the spot to soak up the smell.
I learned my lesson this week, and so I’m now wearing a Narwhal Onesie.
Why would I dress up? Because I don’t learn lessons. Last week, my skin was melting and there was fake-monkey fur in my buttcrack for days. This week, I have a horn on the top of my head. I’m like an idiot unicorn. At least I’m aerodynamic now.
The first two sets feel great. Thrusters are hard, but there are only 4 each set, so you can deal with that. my goal was to make Thrusters my speed movement. Unbroken for each round, fast, and all the urgency.
V-Ups look like I’m shellless turtle on his back. I’my attempting to create a V with my body, and maybe someday have that V in my waistline like ol’ moose knuckle from the gym. That’s not the skin I live in, though. I’m currently in possession of a V if it ate 17 tacos and drank chocolate milk for each meal. Still, I don’t stop. My breaks are for the transition to each station and all the times I’m definitely going to mess up on Double Unders.
I finish Double Unders slowly, but unbroken. As I thought about this workout, my first thought was how many times I’m going to take a lashing on my flesh because I over rushed myself. CrossFit Open 20.2 is starting off hot!
The CrossFit Open 20.2 would be more fun if you were drunk.
At the tail end of V-Ups in round 4, I start to feel my core cramp. That’s not good. I still have 12 minutes left and that’s at least 5 more rounds.
Double Unders were harder in this period. I wasn’t moving too fast, but it still tense. Sometimes I forget how to jump.
Here’s some advice, when you’re doing the CrossFit Open 2.0, you should try to remain consistent. I’m five rounds in and I haven’t stopped in my thrusters and my double unders have barely had any mistakes. Why? Not because I’m good. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. It’s like the RPM jump rope was doing the work on its own.
Right about now is when the jump rope starts to feel heavy. My stomach has protruded out like I’m 8 months pregnant, which isn’t great for the V-Ups.
Thruster are still smooth.
Sidebar: I’m doing this workout in our garage. It’s currently very dirty and cluttered. my goal is to build my own home gym in 2020 and help my OTB family do the same. Which means I’m reaching out to folks who run other businesses and have similar values to me. So, now I’ve become best friends with the guys over at Kettlebell Kings and they’ve given me a discount code to offer to you (since you’re my best friend too). If you’re looking for high, high quality kettlebells, go here and use the offer code “StayGold” at checkout.
Inside the house, my wife and family are having meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I can smell it. My son has come outside twice while I’m mid workout to watch me drive myself into the ground. He’s a chip off the old block, so his third strip outside now has him wearing a turkey onesie.
V-Ups are crampy. Thrusters are tight. DUs are the worst. I would rather do a bajillion DUs rather than 150 burpees. CrossFit Open 20.2 >>>>> 20.1
I’m ten rounds deep. Time is ticking. I watched two dudes I don’t know do the workout on YouTube earlier. Their score was in the 800s. They’re better at this than me, but now I’m trying to figure out the math for each set.
36 x 12 = 432.
I had no goal, but 432 sounds very responsible when I’m ere. That means I need to finish the last 2 rounds in less than 2 minutes.
First set of Thrusters:
Fast, I’m pulling the weight down as I sink into a squat.
First set of V-Ups:
This is the easiest way to convince me to tighten up my diet. Something is happening in my stomach. I’m not bashing myself, simply stating a very sad fact.
First set of DUs:
I’m fast on these. I see the finish line and know that I can make it worse if I press. Instead, I focus and vow to finish one more round. This set is unbroken… will the next be?
Second set of Thrusters:
This was the easiest part of the workout, but I’m pretty sure my buttcheeks are going to hurt worse than that time I attempted to back squat 225 lbs in a 5×20 workout.
Second set of V-Ups:
woof. tummy cramps are the worst.
Second set of DUs:
I’m no longer pacing myself. This is a sprint to the finish.
I finish the DUs and look at the clock, I have 8 seconds.
You know what… screw it. I’m going to work. I get 4 extra Thrusters before the time ends.
Score: 12 Rounds + 4 Thrusters
I won’t be doing this one again.
Interested in learning more about OTB? Check out 10 Free Bodyweight Workouts.
Or hey, why not just sign up? Me and the Outsiders are waiting for ya.
Tune in next week for another Death to Dadbod.
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