First taste of success.
The CrossFit Open holds a special place in my heart. I wrote my first CrossFit Open recap 7 years ago. If you want to take a blast to the past… here, here, and here are some good places to start. These posts were the first moments I felt like I could write comedy mixed with CrossFit.
And here we are today!
Not-so-fun fact: I’ve never completed all the workouts in a CrossFit open. I usually make it to week 3 before my life gets in the way and I decide to retire for the year. “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to the Games, so who cares?” Newsflash: I care now. It’s a bummer I never powered through.
This year is different.
I’m an Outsider. The Word Wizard for OTB and an active participant in this awesome programing. That means I’m equipped to power through any workout. It means I’m supported to overcome my weaknesses. And… it means I’m obligated.
It’s easier to workout when you HAVE to. And ya know… when your daily workouts are only 30 minutes in a day.
Back On Point.
This Cross Open is a wonderful time to test your fitness. You spend all years planting and blooming, now is the chance to see how far you’ve come. The workouts are always a little more intense than you expect, and there’s always a shocker in there somewhere.
Outside the Box has our own version of the Open for members who do not have the necessary equipment. Which is great for me, since I only own a pair of dumbbells and a jump rope. So, let’s get to it.
Scott Panchik and Rich Froning competed in the Rogue announcement. I wonder if anyone has strings they could pull to get me at one of these things. Give the people what they really want: a sweaty 33-year-old manchild with a beer belly and credit card debt. Let Greg know I’m available. Or Robert Rogue, the founder of Rogue.
Ahem, the Workout
CrossFit Open 20.1: Outside The Box
-10 Dumbbell Ground to Overhead
-10 Dumbbell Facing Burpees
15 Minute Time Cap
I’m using 25 lb. dumbbells.
So, yeah. I’m an idiot. In my excitement, I thought we were only doing 8 reps on the Ground to Overheads. More on this later…
I wore a Monkey Costume. It’s a Onesie with a velcro back. I might as well have wore a Hazmat Suit in the middle of freakin’ Chernobyl.
First 8 reps are easy. Ground to Overhead is a strength of mine, but it’s hard to feel confident when your backmeat opened the back of my costume. Letting air into my suit and exposing my skin to the world. I’m vulnerable.
1 set of 10 burpees. doesn’t sound too terrible. OTB has programmed Burpees plenty over the summer and I feel prepped for a good burpee workout. Except, that’s not true. On the first round. I felt pretty good. I was patient and controlled in this movement, but there was something sinister on it’s way.
8 reps, again. The back of my suit opened, again. Shocking, dressing in a monkey onesie for the CrossFit Open was a bad decision.
The cool breeze distracted me. Forcing me to lose count as I finished. I think I’m on 8, but I did another one just in case.
On my second set of burpees, my body signed it’s petition to revolt. My hamstrings are committing a mutiny.
Am I using that right? Do you commit a mutiny? Mutinize? Muteen?
A fun song came on the radio. Boy, I needed that. Those burpees sucked the life out of me, but nothing ever sucks too bad to dance.
The little momentum carries into my Ground to Overheads.
Burpees halted the momentum. This stupid freakin’ tail is annoying. Why did this onesie come with a hat-thingy? What type of witchcraft makes this thing so hot?
I’m panting, but I fight on. Trying to be consistent.
I rested too long. This workout got to me before I expected. It’s better to be humble than humiliated. Speaking from experience.
Fortunately, I’m able to keep consistent and get through the 8 Ground to overheads.
I’m not even to the halfway point before I’m forced to second guess whether I can jump over a dumbbell. They’re so high off the ground. It’s hard to keep count when your brain is melting.
I’m hunching over in the middle of sets. Ain’t no dancing now!
No more Dancin’ Dan! It’s all Devastated Danial.
This set of burpees is a real dinosaur caller. If I were in better shape, I’d end up in a Zion’s Bank parking lot yacking my riced cauliflower.
Somehow, I was convinced I was further into this workout than round 6. Do you know how discouraging it is to be wrong by 2 rounds? Woof.
I get through the Ground to Overhead and quietly wish the time was up. 15 minutes as a time cap is my best chance of survival.
Result: 6 full rounds.
The worst part is the burpees. Not surprising.
The best part was taking the hat-thingy off my head and throwing it.
I’m excited for next week.
… just kidding, I’m going to do the workout again over the weekend. I did the reps wrong. so I want to do it right.
Hit me up if you’ve done this version, let me know how bad you beat me!